2014 JOURNAL

My year of 2014 has taught me so many unpredictable things when  i was beyond give up with the life and try to let it go and suddenly miracle happen. It does taught me that the power of mind has an extraordinary magnetic waves (ok i guess no one understand this, just a short story i used to learn abt mind power for last 2 years and i can feel the most in 2014). I was trying to make balances around after what i've been through at 2013. Honestly i dislike my university, i feel like robot. The only thing that i like is my classmates were very nice. I regret couple of times thinking "i shouldn't follow my dad mind", "i should follow my heart and go out", "this is my life i shouldn't let him control it!". But after all, i finally tried to accept things around, facing happily the boring situation with a smile, of course with some little hopes inside (you know i often browsing some unis while i'm on my office time). I got no option except waiting for my graduation and move out from this 'dead' zone.But anyway i got good mark in university, still struggling with my time management, save money and buy some goodies. Yea life's been like that so i just go on with the flow.

June came by and it was the most amazing step that i grateful for. I moved to my favorite university which was just open in town (it was completely my life saver!!!). I mean seriously, i've been loving this uni ever since the first time i know! (i begging for him for a month, avoid him for a week just for this uni). I just quickly register on it without asking my dad, take the test and finally get into it. I told my dad abt this after i received letter from the uni. Dad allow me as long as i was still in Medan. This experience has taught me that sometimes good thing need time, sometimes we need to have a second chance because time wasn't ready for the first one. I'm not giving up on it. I'm just starting over. 

School start on September (if i'm not mistaken). Life's been pretty cool after that. I got so excited to school. I met lots of good friends and have been blessed enough to know them. October came, I met someone who share the same mind with me and i don't expected something 'big' would happen after this. but apparently, it does. Things going really crazy and turned down so fast like roller coaster. Raw love, like raw heartache, could blindside you. The voice sang on and i have lost and loved and won and cried myself to the person i am today. I never enjoy being melancholic. not until now, i think i turned into one for this past few months. Searching for a meaning, realizing how fast all this thing happen and how i wish i could turn back the time and enjoy all those little things. I could have just simply avoided from it but somehow i know its worth to fight for. I got a robust feeling and yet,i know its going to be a while but i don't have any plan at all to leave.
I never expected anything at my 19th birthday since i got a bad experience at 18th yo birthday. I thought i'm just gonna past the birthday cause i don't find something to joy for on past early months. I was wrong, good friends had turned my birthday into something meaningful and i got a big big lesson the night after it. I guess thats the thing about pain, it demands to be felt.

You don't get to choose if you get to hurt in this world, but you have some say in who hurts you and i like my choices. I know its a mistake but it still my favorite mistake. And then the line is quite but not dead. Just breathe, if it meant to be then it will be. 

And finally my favorite lesson at 2014 :

"Appreciate every little things because you don't know until its gone and something are irreplaceable"

"All dream come true, but small dreams take less time while big one require a lot more"

"Work hard in silence, let your succeed be your noise"

"Its just a bad day, not a bad life"

"When life is beautiful, say thankyou and celebrate. When life is bitter, say thankyou and grow"

ok so i finally made a book to put inside all my 100 resolutions in 2015 and i'm gonna share 20 of it. Here we go !

1.     Experience a white christmas

2.     Find and treasure something to be grateful of each day

3.     Make a charity and share happiness

4.     New lense

5.     A bouquet of rose

6.     Fly aboard and have a great vacation

7.     Find a new hobby

8.     Hit the gym for the first time

9.     Be a vegetarian for a month

10. Do a beauty post

11. Went to some concert / raving party

12. Color my hair

13. Be honest and express my feeling

14. Learn how to drive a car

15. Get a chance to try on hanbook

16. Have some light decoration for my room

17. Get myself paid well

18. Lights surprise

19. Make a speech on important event

20. Be beautiful with purpose